Our National Sport

Let's face it, we Molossians aren't a real athletic bunch. But when the mood strikes us, we take up brooms and head out to play broomball. Sure, there's broomball such as is played on ice 'way up north in the Cheese States (as His Excellency calls them). But none of that sissy messing about on ice stuff for us Molossians! Here, we have brooms, we have a ball and we have a rock strewn dirt patch called the Alphonse Simms Memorial Cosmodrome and Broomball Field. On this dusty sward we valiantly whack that poor ball back and forth toward the vague goals (also made of rocks), and spend enormous amounts of time retrieving it from the surrounding sagebrush. Eventually we tire of this and call it a game. Rules? Not many. Hit the ball, avoid fingers and knees and aim for the goals. The team that makes the most goals, wins. And have fun!